Does Someone Need Help?

If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help they need. It can be scary when a friend or loved one is thinking about suicide. It's hard to know how a suicidal crisis feels and how to act. Call 988 at any time for help if a friend is struggling. Never keep it a secret if a friend tells you about a plan to hurt themselves. Call 988 so that you can find out what resources are available in your area, or encourage your loved one to call. Calls are routed to the Lifeline center closest to your area code that can provide you with local resources.

1. Suicide Warning Signs
2. Contact the Lifeline Center - Call 988 Available 24/7
3. Use the ASK Steps -  Ask. 2) Stay with, 3) Help them Konnect
4. Practice Active Listening 
5. Get More Information

The first question that you should ask yourself is "What do I do when I think someone may need help?" The answer is simply ASK!

Think of ASK like CPR. You don’t have to be a doctor to know CPR to save a life, you just have to keep the heart attack victim alive until the ambulance arrives. The same goes for ASK. Anyone with basic training can use it to save a life.

Do not be afraid of using the word “suicide.” 

Being direct, while being kind, in asking the question “Are you thinking about suicide?” will not put the idea into the person’s mind.  In the midst of a crisis of youth suicides in his state, a high school guidance counselor said “When I have a potentially-suicidal kid in my office, I ask directly ‘Are we talking about suicide?’ I can virtually see the stress rise from the kid’s shoulders, like a dark cloud. It doesn’t give the young person the idea – it opens their heart.” 

Never leave a person who is at risk of taking his or her own life alone. 

The only exception would be if you are in danger, if perhaps there is a loaded firearm present. Remember that your job is not to “heal” the person of these negative feelings. It’s to keep them safe until a trained professional, a social worker, doctor or psychiatrist perhaps, can intervene. 

• Keep the person engaged with questions and comments that show you care and can empathize.
• Keep eye contact.
• Once you have confirmed that suicide is indeed a consideration, get more details.
• Ask questions like, “Have you talked to anyone else about this?”
• “Do you know how you’re going to do it?
• "Do you have a time planned?”
• “Have you thought about what you’re going to write in your ‘Good-Bye’ notes?  "Have you actually written any of them?”
• Above all, show your sympathy. “We’ve all been where you are – we all go through periods of sadness.”
• Ask leading questions like “I sense that what you really want to do is end your pain, and you think that suicide is the only way. Am I right?”
• Finally, “If there is another way, would you give us enough time to find help if I stay with you?”

Wherever you are, there are resources available to help you. If the crisis is so imminent that you feel immediately threatened, such as the gun is loaded and at hand for instance, you can always 

call 911. The response may not be as sympathetic as you might wish, but if the threat is that immediate and law enforcement steps in, at least the person is still alive. The nearest Emergency Room is an alternative where you can find psychiatric help and counseling available. 

Immediate help can be found at 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - Don't WAIT - call 988!!

Ask if there is anyone else to whom the person would feel comfortable talking to. A trusted member of your family, a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, a teacher, or even your pastor.

This is a time for quiet active listening, not blaming, not feeling guilty. Never say or suggest the following:

• “Think of all the people you’ll hurt – your friends, your family.”
• “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not going to kill yourself.”
• “These are the best years of your life – you have lots to live for.”
• “In 20 years you’ll forget about all of this.”
• “Get a grip, man up, get this out of your system.”

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention